


Antimony, Envy, and Attachments

by LiteralistSin



Series: Vicissitudes Pass In A Mere Moment [5]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Complicated Relationships, Emotional Hurt, Goddamnit mityo, Multi, Romance, Slow Burn, Talentless AU, Toxicity, i honestly do not like tsumugi all that much but plot, lots of killing myself, most likely will be toxic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2019-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-30 15:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14500326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiteralistSin/pseuds/LiteralistSin
Summary: A little-known heavy metal used in small quantities. Enmity. Usually toxic. Won't kill you, but will pretty much mess up your life.





	1. Premise - Wounds

**Author's Note:**

> _To the High Priest, a curse from the Goddess  
>  Who took her gifts for granted, loved a mortal queen  
> Preached her to be what she had never been  
> And in her dying breath, she loved him unto distress -_
> 
> _"I gave him everything! I gave him my everything!" She cried;  
>  "You only controlled, you only cheated, you only lied."_

Kaede Akamatsu sighed deeply as she turned to the side, the light from her mobile device reflected in her tired and hollow-looking eyes, making them seem to glow in the darkness of her room. She read the message again, slowly typing out a response.

 

_ Amami - Today at 1:24 am _

**She continues to reject me, so you don’t really need to worry about that.**

 

_ Akamatsu - Today at 1:24 am _

**Are you telling me to go and confess again? I have no reason to think the answer would change.**

 

_ Amami - Today at 1:25 am _

**I**

**Idk, maybe you should try**

**At least you guys can be happy together in the future**

 

The blonde sighed again, curling into herself in a fetal position as she let the phone drop from her weakened fingers. She barely had enough strength to stay awake right now, and she didn’t know what to feel. Her heart ached with every pained breath she took, and her eyes stung. 

 

She didn’t even have the energy to cry right now, nor did she have the tears left to do so. A groan that spoke of hurt left her lips as she hugged her knees, soft and slightly shrill, the sound of a dying animal.

 

A few minutes passed before she was able to force some strength into her fingers, feeling around for where she had let her phone go. She looked at the screen, and wrote out:

 

_ Akamatsu - Today at 1:32 am _ _  
_ **Let’s go out**

**We’re a couple of suckers anyway, and there’s no future to be happy in, ya know? So let’s just cling to each other and lick each others’ wounds.**

 

She turned her mobile off, rolling onto her back now and looking towards the ceiling. It was completely dark now, and finally a droplet trickled down the corner of one of her purple eyes and down the side of her rosy cheek, horizontally onto the bed. 

 

In that moment, she knew what she was doing was something she may come to regret - she had too many wounds, after all. Licking at this point would only open them.

 

Unseen, a notification flashed on the sleeping Kaede’s phone. 

 

_ Amami - Today at 1:35 am _

**I’ll just be going with the flow then. I don’t love you.**

 

* * *

 

She had dreamt of dancing to Jingle Bells, leaning up on her toes under the mistletoe, and waking up as disoriented as she was she mistook the day for Christmas. 

 

Unfortunately for her, it was a school day, and it was summer. It was months until winter arrived with the prospect of freezing her heart to what it had been. 

 

“I don’t love you either.” Kaede spoke to no one in particular, sitting down in front of the mirror to brush her hair. She looked down at her hands, willing them to stop trembling - they disobeyed, and a light, sarcastic scoff made its way out of her mouth. She looked up at the mirror with a bitter smile, past the light layer of makeup to hide her dark circles and general exhaustion, right into her very soul.

 

“I don’t love you at all.”

 

* * *

 

  
  
  



	2. Garden of Lies to Hide the Liars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _"Gods cannot love mortals, your majesty."  
>  Ah, but, but, a fleeting tragedy  
> Is the most beautiful, and the most cruel  
> And all your prayers, made to yourself  
> Were meaningless. _
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> __

* * *

 

“Morning!” The voice of Tsumugi Shirogane rang in her ears as she felt someone bump into her at the school gate.

 

“Ah, Mugi. Good morning to you too!” Kaede replied cheerfully, brushing back her bangs out of habit as she turned to the blue-haired, bespectacled teen. She did that to calm herself down, and in this case she felt much too conscious of herself to stay calm.

 

“How was Golden Week for you? Gosh I love May~ I met up with a few of my net friends from Kyoto, too! It’s not quite as warm yet, but they suggested we go swimming… Obviously, we didn’t go, but it was worth mentioning!”

 

“Haha, I see! So, er, were they your otaku friends..?” The blonde smiled, walking up to her own locker and opening it as Tsumugi headed to a different row, raising her pitch so she could still be heard. Unseen behind the locker door, she frowned.

 

_Not how I wanted to start my day…_

 

Then again, she didn’t want to start her day at all.

 

“Yes! We met via an RPG though. I’m the only healer main amongst them, they sure are grateful to me~! Ah, I guess one of them sometimes uses the priest class, but they’re weak so… Doesn’t count.”

 

“So you’re a white mage..?”

 

“Yeah! I’ve told you so many times, gosh. You’re such an airhead.”

 

_I’m only trying to keep the conversation going, but alright._

 

“Are you done, though?” Kaede heard footsteps and looked up, slipping her other foot into her school shoes and shutting her locker.

 

“Mhm, I’m done.” She really was. “Don’t we have literature first period?”

 

“Shoot. Well, whatever, I’ll just write my own masterpieces at the back.”

 

With that, Tsumugi trotted ahead of Kaede to climb up the stairs, and as she did so something caught her eye. “That… That keychain on your bag. It’s the first I’ve seen it.”

 

“Hmm? Oh, this?” Shirogane turned and pointed to the aforementioned keychain, which had now replaced the five she had before, making it all the more noticeable. “A friend and I got matching Aris and Shawn from _The Heart of a Hornet’s Nest!_ It’s cute, right? I’m glad we have the same OTP! Hers is Shawn, of course, I just love Aris too much.”

 

Although Kaede chuckled a bit, mumbling that it was cute, a dark feeling arose in her chest, and she felt suffocated. Her amethyst eyes may have reflected hurt if someone looked into them before she cast them downwards, staring at her own feet as she climbed, involuntarily slowing a bit.

 

It was unfair.

 

It was _way_ too unfair, and she felt bad that she even thought of it that way. Why was she concerning herself with Tsumugi’s affairs? She could have any friends she wanted… It wasn’t a big deal.

 

A soft, small voice spoke in her head - _no, it_ ** _is_** _a big deal._ ** _You_** _were the one who introduced her to that series, and_ ** _you_** _were the one who convinced her to ship those two, even though you two usually have different ships. And now, you are the one who feels more and more alone, even though you two are supposed to be best friends._

 

No, no, no. It was none of her business. Tsumugi probably hadn’t even thought of her when buying them, it wasn’t as though she was hurting her willingly. She probably didn’t even know, and she didn’t even mean it.

 

But didn’t that make it worse? She didn’t care, so she didn’t stop to consider that.

 

“Ah…” Kaede wanted to cry, all of a sudden, and her feet stopped. Strange how her mind had complicated things to more than they should have been in the span of a minute, and now her heart was being squeezed by her own thoughts.

 

_I wish I didn’t feel this lonely all the time._

 

She sighed and looked up, and all of a sudden it seemed like Tsumugi was way too far away. It was because she slowed down, wasn’t it? Of course no one would wait for a snail. Except, it hurt when she turned at the landing without even looking back to see if Kaede were around or not.

 

It felt like she wouldn’t be able to catch up, no matter what she did. She felt inadequate, alone, and small. Forgotten and used. But she probably deserved it, considering how she didn’t care about others, either.

 

As light poured in through the glass windows, a little too bright for her, she thought she noticed someone at the end of the stairs. Kaede scoffed to herself - as if - but even though she denied that, she felt part of herself irrationally hope for someone to be there, and she walked faster.

 

The landing was empty, and everyone seemed to be chattering away in the hallway to the right. Well, of course.

 

“Not like I expected any better.”

 

“Huh? Who are you talking to?”

 

“What-” The female student jumped a bit, looking around down the staircase she had just climbed and back at the two hallways, one that continued forward and one to her right. Her immediate surroundings were all empty.

 

“What are you spacing out for?” The voice said again, and this time she recognised it.

 

“Oh, it’s just you.” She drew in a relieved breath, looking up the stairs to the third floor that she had neglected.

 

“Hey now, what do you mean _just_ me?” Rantaro Amami said with a soft snicker, leaning on the railing as he looked down at her. His voice was playful, but she could see beyond that smile. “Unhappy to see your boyfriend?”

 

“So… We’re dating now, huh?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

A pause. This was awkward, and she was already having second thoughts. What was the point? What was the point of _anything_ at all? She would come to regret it, she thought.

 

“Say something.” Amami cut into her thoughts nonchalantly.

 

“Eh- why me? You were the one sneaking around. Oh, right, what are you even doing here? Homeroom begins in three minutes.”

 

That seemed to get to him, ever so slightly. His emerald eyes widened a bit and he looked away from her, the long locks of his green hair on one side hiding some of his profile from view.

 

“I just… I just thought I’d get to see her before this day actually began.”

 

A bitter smile made its way onto her visage. “Heh, is that so? How romantic you are.”

 

“Sure, whatever. Weren’t _you_ glad you walked with her?”

 

“No. Not at all.”

 

“Liar.”

 

With that, the warning bell rang, and the both of them made their way to their respective classes.

 

_I wish she were glad, instead. But, well, I know she doesn’t care._

 

* * *

 

The ticking of the clock made him absently think of the old clock his family used to have at home, one of those antique chime ones that you needed to tune to keep it going. His father had sold it, later on, after his mother had passed away. He hadn’t even considered asking the rest of them if they wanted to keep it.

 

It was irrational to miss a grandma clock, but here he was. For some odd reason, the lack of that clock had made his house feel a thousand time colder, and he hated going home to that coldness. Everything was constantly freezing around him, and he just wanted to rest somewhere warm, somewhere he felt like he belonged and somewhere he didn’t have to deal with others using him like right now.

 

That was probably why Rantaro Amami fell for Tsumugi Shirogane - she was warm and cheerful, something he craved in his life. She radiated geniality, and everyone liked her.

 

“So cold…” He mumbled, rubbing his hands together. Lunch was over, and they were cleaning up for the afternoon classes. Rantaro’s task was to mop one section of the classroom, and he was already done.

 

“Stop lazing around! Someone help me move the desks back.”

 

“Coming!”

 

He needed to be helpful and reliable, always. He needed to be the one they all leaned on. He needed to be a rock, a support, an immovable object.

 

He needed to suppress all his feelings and become what others wanted him to be.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case it is not clear enough, this is a talentless AU where I am mixing headcanon pre-game personalities and canon personalities, and the characters would develop as such. People change according to situations, after all.


	3. Support and Suffocation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _If what was done was for nothing_  
>  _And what is being done is to compensate_  
>  _Did putting in my all make me empty?_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> _"Your majesty, none of it matters now,_  
>  _You can fill yourself up again_  
>  _Just as you would a bottomless pit."_

The sky was an endless expanse of grey, and it seemed to shake and quiver with each rumble of thunder. Kaede raised her hand up towards it, aimlessly reaching up and waving it around tiredly. Her muscles seemed heavy, and she felt almost like her blood was flopping around with each movement, that it would fall out any second now. That her body would melt under this grey, grey sky, forgotten in a cold, lonely world.

 

Except, today, she wasn’t alone. She sat up with some effort and looked to her side at the green-haired boy who had now made this place his hangout as well.

 

“Is that porn?”

 

“Why would I be reading porn around you?”

 

“You know, ‘for the story,’ like they all say.” She grinned, crawling over to him and cosying herself up against his side to peep in. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, caging her in as he held the book again, and let her snuggle closer, resting his cheek on her head.

 

“It’s just a normal book… Don’t worry, I’ll let you read smut if any comes up in it.” Amami chuckled, readjusting their position so it was easier on his back as he leaned against the fenced wall of the roof.

 

“Ah, is it a mystery?”

 

“Yeah, some dude is looking for his lost sisters.”

 

“Sounds… oddly daunting. How long has he been looking? And how many ‘sisters’ do you mean?”

 

“Uh, it doesn’t specify how long but he apparently had twelve sisters. Not all of them were his sisters by birth, and some are half-sisters, but yeah. I dunno how many got lost.”

 

“What.”

 

“What?”

 

“Twelve is a lot! Poor guy, having had to share his toys with so many-”  


At this, Rantaro Amami let out a snort. “Really? _That’s_ what your first concern is?”

 

“My sister always stole and then hogged my things, you know! I used to find them about two months later and only when she had broken them.”

 

Rantarou giggled and nuzzled his cheek against hers, pausing as his eyes lost their mirth and his expression gradually softened. He closed the book and put it away, wrapping both his arms around her tenderly. “Stole, you say?”

 

“Yes, stole. She can’t anymore.”

 

“I… I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t be! It’s been awhile. Besides, they all tell me to be strong, so it’s okay.” She said, giving him a reassuring smile, as if forcefully saying it really was okay and that he should not worry.

 

Maybe telling him to not reopen wounds before they had even closed up.

 

“If you say so, I guess.” Replied he, after a pause during which he had been searching her eyes and her face. Mostly her eyes, he liked looking at her eyes.

 

Another pause, and then Kaede cupped his cheek, leaning in to capture his lips in hers, shifting from his embrace such that she was facing him instead of them leaning on each other. Sitting up on her knees, wrapping her arms around his neck as she pressed deeper, earning a soft moan from him while he brushed her hair back from her face, his larger hand cupping the side of her head and his curving fingers supporting the back of her head as they simultaneously pulled her closer, his left hand wrapping around the small of her back to hold her steady. Her free hand slid up his chest, palm flat against his body while her fingers felt the warmth under his shirt, gripping at it a bit and crumpling and twisting it as she moaned and gasped into the kiss, his grip on her tightening in response as that very moment felt like fireworks going up into nothingness, a cold kind of passion shared between their heated tongues.

 

This was the only way they allowed themselves to connect. Other things had _meaning_ , and this could be explained away without having to lay their souls bare.

 

Sure, this had its own level of meaning, but for two people using each other, there needs to be a way they can justify it to their conscience. This was theirs, embracing all the wrongness of how despicable they truly were, deep down inside.

 

“Nnh-” Rantaro broke away first, gasping a little for air as he licked her lips after drawing away, gulping and taking in the entirety of her flushed, beautiful face. He regretted doing that, because immediately after a dark kind of satisfaction made itself known to his mind, its smugness at how _he_ was the only one she made that expression and those sounds around only paralleled by the disgust that welled up at the realisation he didn't deserve to be there, with her. Not him. Not right now. Not like this.

 

He let his head fall on her shoulder, burying into it as her chest heaved with small pants and puffs for air, unable to look at her anymore. She embraced him fully again, and he felt her cheek on his head, comfortably leaning on him.

 

And just like that, they were back to leaning on each other. If one was removed from that exact position the other would fall, crack, and break, so they stayed that way. They stayed that way if only to keep themselves put together.

 

“You… You know I love you, right?” He mumbled, voice barely above a whisper. Half said out of obligation, half because he didn't really want her to hear.

 

“I know.” She said back, and he could hear the soft wistfulness of her voice.

 

And that was that. They _knew_ they had their own version of love involved, so there didn't need to be much else said.

 

“Come, now,” Kaede patted his back, getting ready to stand up. “It's almost time for us to go back. Tsumugi is probably waiting for me to tell me _all_ about how great Junko is and how her makeup studio gives her an orgasm.”

 

“How cute.” He said drily, sighing and removing himself from contact, standing up before her. Rantarou offered her his hand, but Kaede shook her head and stood up without taking it. “I expect Oma to be waiting for me as well… I can't wait to hear about yet another death and how his boyfriend is the best thing ever.”

 

“Wow, masochistic much?”

 

“Absolutely. I'm positively excited, you don't know how much I adore stories related to Oma keeping him in check while he does the same for him and how wonderfully supportive and healthy everything is, even when Oma is _obviously_ the one who is making it like that.”

 

They'd begun walking now, a friendly distance between them. Fingers brushing then and now, never really touching enough to consider holding hands or moving further apart. This was okay, it was nice and calm and just right. Not perfect, but nothing ever is.

 

“You know what _I_ adore?” Kaede said, looking up at that grey, cloudy sky again. It wasn't even that cold, could the universe stop making her feel like it was Christmas?

 

“What is it?”

 

“Hot chocolate, you and me, 5 pm at the café near the train station.”

 

“There's like several cafés there.”

 

“Oh, the station I go to. Not for the north line.”

 

“Marshmallows? Please?”

 

“As many as you can have without getting fat.”

 

“Says you.”

 

“I will actually push you down the stairs.”

 

A giggle escaped his mouth, quickly swooping in to give her a small peck on the cheek, and then trotting on ahead of her. “See you at 5:30!”

 

“I- What did I ever see in you?”

 

"You're right, you're only pleasingly plump."

 

"If you're a minute later than 5:00 I'm leaving and you have to pay me a thousand yen."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, to help is to care, but it is not an effort to suffocate or dominate. If someone tells you to not walk an unusually unstable tightrope, they are not denying you the choice to make your own decisions, they are merely concerned and trying to care for you. Your choices are what make you yourself, and suggestions by people who care are to make those choices better so you can be a better version of yourself.


	4. Esteem and Apple Pies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _In the temple beyond eternity, my goddess weeps._
> 
> _Her tears are now rain, and the trepidation of her heart  
>  Is thunder, and her wails lightning  
> And her curses become gifts unto humanity, for  
> Her beloved priest haunts the realm as a ghost -_
> 
> _And she cannot curse him._

Kaede counted the seconds as they passed, a lazy sense of comfort draping itself around her. With a lack of anything to do, she had gotten there long before her company could make it, and was idly observing the comers and goers of the cafe while she sipped some tea. It was quiet, and not in the way that her thoughts could get too loud and make it unbearable, so she relished it. Her gaze drifted to the doors as the bell tinkled yet again, a bespectacled high schooler, still in uniform, walking in.

 

Kaede kept down her cup of tea.

 

With a moment that looked completely natural, she got up and sat in the opposite seat, such that her back was now facing the door instead. Her intentions, though, were anything but natural.

 

“A table for two, please.” Tsumugi Shirogane’s voice rang out, and Kaede, relying on her luck and her position on the far side to not be seen, observed silently.

 

“So is this where you hang out?”

 

“Ah, not really, I just heard it was peaceful.”

 

Chatter between her and her companion, who seemed like a tall blonde with a beautiful figure and an absolute riot of hair on her head.

 

They moved away, and Kaede slumped deeper into her seat. The silence was no longer welcome, and her hands itched to take up her phone and tell Rantaro not to come, maybe make up an excuse that she didn’t feel well or say she would rather hang out at his apartment. At this point, though, it wouldn’t be that much of an excuse, since she had actually begun to feel unwell.

 

The bell at the door tinkled again, and Kaede’s heart froze. She knew it was him without even looking back, a scent like fresh grass after a shower accompanying him and wafting up to her, his footsteps as familiar as his presence. She knew by now he was still at the door, peering at the seats to look for her. He probably had an umbrella with him, too, one of those small foldable ones, dangling by his wrist. She closed her eyes and simply listened, rustling and the sound of footsteps, and a warmth nearby.

 

“There you are.” Rantaro said, casually sliding in the seat in front of her, throwing a quizzical glance at the half-empty cup in front of him. “Huh, my seat is strangely warm.”

 

Despite herself, colour rose to her cheeks. “Wh- That’s rather inappropriate of you to say.”

 

“I just said my seat was warm, you’re jumping to conclusions. I mean, it’s nice that your b-”

 

“Fine, yes, I was sitting there before, so I may have left it warm for you.”

 

“Kind of you to give me your tea, too. Thought you preferred coffee.”

 

“Tea’s fine once in awhile, and you don't drink tea.”

 

To her surprise, he picked up the cup. “Now I do.” And with that, he casually took a sip from her half-drunk, mildly warm tea.

 

“Whoa, an indirect kiss. Real mature, Amami-san.” She said drily, biting the inside of her as she struggled to not react further. That had caught her off-guard, and she didn't want it to show on her face.

 

“All for the health of your maiden heart, Akamatsu-san.” He offered back, looking up from his tea with his eyes twinkling as though he were a crow that had gotten a hold of something valuable and shiny, and was happy in the knowledge that it had hidden it away all for itself. But his expression changed. “Hey, you good?”

 

She was silent. Debating. Then she thought she'd tell him. “I saw Mugi walk in with someone I think is probably Junko.”

 

A shadow flickered in Rantaro's green eyes and they looked like damp moss for a quick second, tired and old and sick of waiting. The shadow was gone as quickly as it came, and his expression took on a thoughtful note instead, his emerald eyes gazing into the distance as he craned his neck to look around.

 

“Well, do you wanna leave?”

 

“Because Shirogane's here?” He still was trying to search for her. He wanted to see her, and she didn't want him to do that.

 

“It's inconvenient. If she sees us, she'll assume we're on a date, get carried away and tell everyone we're... 'going out.' Within a day everyone would think the same.”

 

Finally, Rantaro turned back to look at her, tilting his head to the side. “That's not it, is it? You're jealous at seeing her with her crush.”

 

Kaede gave him a smile, and he returned it. She was jealous, sure. Maybe for more reasons than that.

 

“Not everyone can be like you, Amami-san.” She said lightly, though a bitterness arose inside of her. She felt small in front of him, for some reason, as though he was far above somewhere in a morally rightful dimension and she couldn’t quite stand up to him at the moment.

 

“I guess I just forced myself to be content with staying away.” He said, voice quiet, his smile holding a resignation she didn’t feel she had in herself. She didn’t quite… get it. If, like he said, he loved her, how could he give up so easily?

 

“That so.” Kaede looked over at the cup of tea still in his hands. He’d resorted to holding it with both his hands, like a mug. “Are your hands cold?”

 

He looked slightly sheepish as he kept down the tea, hands still wrapped around the cup. “Well, it’s raining-”

 

“Here, let me warm them up.” Not even letting him finish, she stretched her hands towards him, firmly taking the barely warm cup from him and putting it to the side. “My hands are usually warm.”

 

For the briefest of seconds, she thought she saw his cheeks flush when she took his hands in hers. Huh. So he was good at dishing it out, but extremely weak when someone did the same to him? He seemed to clear his throat, and his gaze finally left where their hands were joined, looking furtively to the side before finally looking up to her. He mumbled a thank you through lips that seemed they would break into a half-flattered and half-embarrassed grin anytime but stubbornly continued to pout.

 

“You know, you’re not that good at taking it.”

 

“I’m simply not used to being pampered, or not being the aggressive one. Leave me alone.”

 

For reasons she didn’t understand as of yet, that made her chuckle a bit, and resist the urge to say ‘dude you never dated anyone before what do you mean not used to being passive,’ instead opting for the more direct, “You’re surprisingly cute.”  
  
“I said leave me alone…” He muttered, turning to the side as he relied on his bangs to cover half his face.

 

“Fine, fine, don’t get all pouty on me.” Kaede raised her hands in surrender, realising a second later she was supposed to be warming his hands. Her mouth formed into a small ‘o’ when she noticed that Rantaro almost reached out for her hands himself, stopping only when she half-snorted, half-giggled. “You got lonely already, huh?”

“Oh come on! Why is anything I do subject to scrutinisation…” Presumably having had enough, he decidedly grasped her hands, touch gentle even though the act radiated annoyance.

 

Surprisingly cute.

 

“Are you going to order anything else?” He asked after a minute or two of the both of them staring at their intertwined hands, her long fingers absently drawing circles on his palm. It felt comfortable, but he was afraid he might get lulled to a false sense of security and say or do something he might regret, unconscious of his surroundings. He felt the need to break the silence, it was just the sort of person he was.

 

“Not really. I don’t think I even want coffee right now. Do you want, like, bubble tea-”

 

“Stop- yes I want bubble tea.”

 

“Child. Maybe you’d want orange soda instead?”

 

“ _Everyone_ likes bubble tea. You just like acting old, bet you want some earl grey jelly with yours, and like, what’s the other thing you want, lychee pearls, and random whipped cream.”

 

“No whipped cream! I want fruit bits- Fine I brought it up because I want it too. But at the same time I didn’t want to propose leaving this place for bubble tea because you might get all on my case about Mugi.”

 

“You brought me to a cafe that _doesn’t_ offer bubble tea? Shame on you, Akamatsu-san. And we never even got hot chocolate in the end.” In a move she didn’t predict, he completely ignored the thing about Shirogane.

 

“My original intention was to try the shortcake, I heard it was really nice. Should’ve ordered it before you came here…”

 

He narrowed his eyes at her in suspicion. “No, I think you also wanted to try something else and would have made me order the other thing and said we could share.”

 

She nonchalantly ignored the majority of what he said, pouting ever so slightly as if to say ‘so what?’ and continued, “To-go?”

 

“Wow you’re mean, I want salad as a way to spite you and your sweet tooth.”

 

“That’s one cheesecake for you.”

 

“Lemon meringue, please, o goddess of mercy.”

 

“You’re literally worse than I.” She motioned for a waiter. “Oh, also, let’s go to a butler cafe sometime.”

 

“Only if it has bubble tea.”

 

“I don’t think they will but you can have omurice, m’boy.”

 

“Need I fetch you a doctor, General Akamatsu? You’re losing braincells by the second.”

 

“Don’t mind my companion, can we have a lemon meringue cheesecake, a strawberry shortcake, and a slice of apple pie packed, please?” She gave the waiter a brilliant smile.

 

“Two slices of apple pie.”

 

“Two slices of apple pie it is. You can mind him now.”

 

“Won’t be long.” Said the waiter, and mouthing ‘have fun,’ left them to their own devices.

 

“I think he told me to go overwork myself.” Amami said drily.

 

“Yeah, having fun with you is lots of work.”

 

“Don’t flip this on me.”

 

She just grinned as their takeaway arrived. “At least it pays well, in like, cuddles. Also, split with me.”

 

“Most of it is what you wanted, gee. I want the top strawberry.” He complained, exaggeratedly sighing.

 

“Ehhhh- deal.”

 

* * *

 

It was already sunset by the time Rantaro said he’d walk Kaede  to the station. The main street and the entrance were both crowded, people getting out from work and in a hurry to get back home after a long and tiring  day, a lot of them clearly looking like they’d been trapped doing overtime.

 

“You know… Why do you always look for excuses to not let me walk you?” Rantaro asked, slipping his hand quietly into Kaede’s as they slowly made their way to the station, aware that she was matching her pace to his now that he’d started leisurely strolling.

 

“Mm?” She made a questioning sound at their hands, looking up at him to answer. “I don’t want you to find out where I live, and drop in randomly and scare my parents half to death. Also, your hands are cold again already.”

 

“Yes, I know. Why else would I grab yours?” He jokingly rolled his eyes at her, earning a grin. “And like, I already know your address. Shirogane-san was excited to let me know, once she found out we were friendlier, and I could always have begged our homeroom teacher to let me know sometime.”

 

“Riiiight. Well, do me a favour and… not come over for awhile.”

 

He felt a bit stung for no real reason, and almost jokingly protested - but something in her voice made him feel like he shouldn’t. Didn’t really deserve to push his feelings onto hers when he wasn’t even sure why he was like this. Besides, it was obviously her choice.

 

And, like always, he kind of felt like he had no right to voice his burdensome opinions in front of her. He’d trample his own soul if it meant making things convenient for her.

 

“Sure, then if you ever - hypothetically - feel the need to get out of there or if you miss me too much, which I _know_ you will don’t look at me like that, just come over to my place.”

 

“You live alone, that’s hella dicey.”

 

“Wow okay I get what you mean, I wouldn’t feel safe all alone with you.”

 

Kaede huffed and looked away, facing forward, slowing down rather abruptly. “How free are you on a scale of one to ten?”

 

He stopped to look at her, still holding her hand in his. “Considering it’s a Friday evening, a solid 7 and a half.”

 

Amami couldn’t help but screw his brows together when she seemed to take a minute and stare off into space, other passengers kind of just walking around them, an invisible sort of boundary surrounding the both of them at this point - their own little space.

 

“Akam-”

 

“Yes! Well, you said your house was closer, so let’s go there right now.”

 

“Right now.” He echoed, not as a question, but rather just to replay it in his head and kind of taste the words with his brain so he could _understand_.

 

“Yes. That is what I said, I would like to know how to get there so I can come over as I please. Guess we can always make hot chocolate there, too, now that we've ended up without it.”

 

“Huh. I don't know if I have the ingredients for that.”

 

"Marshmallows?"

 

"Just marshmallows."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let go, or hold on and burn yourself up alongside your hate, and become the preserved ashes.


End file.
